Saints BBQ blessing 504 Scott News reports that a New Orleans man has taken his devotion to the Saints — and barbecue — to spiritual levels previously unseen. Witnesses say the man held a full-on rib baptism in his backyard, using ice-cold Abita beer as holy water in an effort to “break the Saints juju” and “bless the grill.” Neighbors reported smoke, chanting, and what sounded suspiciously like “When the Saints Go Marchin’ In” played on a kazoo. One elderly woman said she saw the ribs “rise fro
Saints BBQ blessing 504 Scott News reports that a New Orleans man h…
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Cajun roach chaos 504 Scott News — Soul in a Bowl Chaos 504 Scott has obtained exclusive, horrifying-yet-weirdly-inspiring footage from Soul in a Bowl, where Chef Dylan Pickle Nickel once again decided the laws of nature, OSHA regulations, and common sense did not apply to him. Witnesses say he brewed a new “spicy soup–flame bay” so intense that it singed the eyebrows off three customers before it even got served. But the real catastrophe began when Dylan—reportedly “in a creative mood” and poss
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Christopher Columbus welcomed 5O4ScottNews has uncovered long-lost footage from October 12, 1492—yes, the exact moment Christopher Columbus arrived in the New World. But this footage tells a very different story than the history books. As Columbus stepped off the ship, striking what can only be described as his “I’m-about-to-go-viral” pose, the Native Americans on shore looked at each other and said: “Oh look… another influencer looking for content.” Columbus, not missing a beat, proudly announc
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“Yeti Family Thanks TSA” 504 Scott Breaking News — The 504 Scott Newsroom would like to extend our warmest and furriest thanks to the Himalayan Yeti Tourism Board, for “giving a little sump’in sump’in” to our overworked TSA agents during these troubling times. Sources say several TSA officers were seen smiling for the first time in months after receiving what was described as a “mystical care package of snow dust, beard conditioner, and beef jerky.” One agent allegedly grew a full chest of hair
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📰 504 SCOTT NEWS EXCLUSIVE: TEENAGER BRAWLS WITH MIDGET LIL PEANUT AFTER “WIZARD OF OZ” COMMENT New Orleans — Authorities were called to a chaotic scene outside a daiquiri shop last night after a teenager allegedly mocked a local midget named Lil Peanut by asking if he personally knew Glenda the Good Witch. Witnesses say Lil Peanut went “ape crazy” and launched himself at the teen with Cajun velocity and Hobbit-level fury. Chairs were flying, gumbo spilled, and someone’s crawfish tray became a
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Hot Dog of Shame 504 Scott News reports that chaos erupted in downtown Boston after a man was seen publicly — and unapologetically — putting mayonnaise on a hotdog. Witnesses described the scene as “unspeakable” and “the most disturbing thing to happen since unsalted clam chowder.” Several bystanders reportedly dropped their lobster rolls in shock. Local therapists say dozens of witnesses are now seeking counseling for what they call “condiment-induced trauma.” One woman claimed she hasn’t been
Hot Dog of Shame 504 Scott News reports that chaos erupted in dow…
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Lil Driver 504 Scott News has confirmed that a local midget Little Peanut, fresh out of driving school and standing proudly at three-foot-something—was hired for his very first professional driving job: piloting one of the massive 504 Scott shuttle buses across New Orleans. It was supposed to be a historic moment. A big break. A dream come true. But instead, it ended with something no one on Earth could’ve predicted, much less explained without hand gestures. On his very first day, witnesses say
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Lil Driver 504 Scott News has confirmed that a local midget Littl…
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